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HOPES AND DREAMS FOR PARENT—TEACHER CONFERENCES

Elementary school teachers using Responsive Classroom® practices take time at the beginning of the school year to have students identify their learning “hopes and dreams” for the academic year ahead. Many combine this activity with asking parents to identify one or two hopes and dreams that they have for their children in school.

The first parent—teacher conference, which often takes place in November, is an ideal time to revisit these global goals with students and parents and see if they can be narrowed a bit into more specific learning goals being covered in the curriculum.

A focused learning conference with each student before the parent—teacher conference can help every young learner first review their initial hopes and dreams and then identify the academic area they see as their strength and articulate a specific learning goal for the next few weeks. Then they can set a similar goal for an area they may be struggling with.

If a second grader’s hope and dream poster shows her working at her desk with numbers floating overhead and the words “I want to get better at math”, this area might be a strength of hers. Now she might say, “I want to learn to do harder subtraction problems.”

If a fourth grader’s hopes and dreams said, “I need to get better at spelling,” this may be a difficult skill for the child. The teacher can show him his most commonly misspelled words and the student can decide how many of these to try to master before the December break. “I am going to learn my fifteen hardest words before New Year’s Day!” might be one of their focused goals.

At the parent—teacher conference, the teacher can share the child’s focused goals with parents as they talk about the child’s work. The teacher can review the parents’ hopes and dreams and ask if they have a sense of a more focused goal for their child in this area.

For instance, if the parent’s initial goal for their child was “for her to have more friends in school,” the teacher can report on who the child seems to enjoy working or playing with at school. A natural goal for the parent might now become “to have Katie invite one of her new school friends over on a weekend.”

If teachers have not asked parents for their hopes and dreams for their children at the beginning of the school year, the parent—teacher conference is an ideal time for this exploratory conversation.

We all have big hopes and dreams, and we can move toward them by setting reasonable, short-term goals that we actually accomplish, helping us to feel stronger for having done so and helping us to accept new challenges in learning.

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PARENT PAGE

For the month of November, I’m reserving this particular page on the blog specifically for questions coming from parents about their children’s development, behavior, or school-related issues at any age from 4 through 14.

It’s sort of a trial balloon to see if there’s enough interest to establish a dedicated parent page on the blog—one where we could have sections for various ages or topics of special interest to parents.

Here are some concerns parents often ask about. Are any of these ones you might want to explore with me and other blog readers? Feel free to post a comment or a question and we’ll begin a dialogue!

—I’m seeing this behavior. Is this normal for this age?

—What can I do if my child is having trouble with…?

Bedtime

Homework

Friendships

Siblings

Chores

Eating

Sleeping

Technology time

Other things

—What can I do if my child is getting in trouble at school?

—What can I do if my child is bored at school?

—What can I do if …?

The more detail you can give about your situation, the more helpful the exchange is likely to be. If, however, you have a concern that needs more confidential advice, please contact your pediatrician or a school counselor or social worker. They are there to help you.

I hope this page will generate lots of useful feedback for parent readers!

After November, I’ll continue posting entries of general interest to parents, teachers, and other readers. If there are teachers out there with particular child development issues you’d like to explore, please let me know about these as well.

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PARENT AND TEACHER ALERT AND ADVANCE WARNING SYSTEM:

So, after a late night out Saturday, October 31^st, full of sugar and caffeine, we will dutifully try to get our children to bed Sunday night, November 1, an hour earlier as we return to the morning darkness of Daylight Savings Time and head back to school Monday, November 2. Whoever arranged these dates doesn’t have children or teach school!

The National Sleep Foundation recommends that children between the ages of 5 and 12 get 10 to 11 hours of sleep each night. At the same time, the foundation notes that children face increasing demands on their time from school (homework), sports, and other extracurricular and social activities. They also become more interested in TV, computers, the media, and the Internet as well as caffeine products (soda)—all of which can lead to trouble falling asleep as well as nightmares and other sleep disruptions. In particular, watching TV close to bedtime has been associated with bedtime resistance, trouble falling asleep, anxiety around sleep, and sleeping less.

Not surprisingly, then, children in this 5-to-12 age group often get poor or inadequate sleep, which can lead to mood swings, behavioral problems such as hyperactivity, and cognitive problems that affect children’s ability to learn in school.

SLEEP TIPS FOR SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN from the National Sleep Foundation

—Teach school-aged children about healthy sleep habits.

—Continue to emphasize the need for a regular and consistent sleep schedule and bedtime routine.

—Make child's bedroom conducive to sleep—dark, cool, and quiet.

—Keep TV and computers out of the bedroom.

—Avoid caffeine.

If you have doubts about these recommendations, read the chapter “The Lost Hour” in Nurtureshock, recently reviewed on this blog. Each year, new reports are emerging on the impact of sleep deprivation on our children’s growth and learning.

Plan-ahead parents, teachers and principals: Pass on this alert and think about making children’s bedtime 15 minutes earlier each night the week before Halloween to help adjust their internal circadian clocks. And good luck!

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“CHILDREN-FULL-OF-LIFE”

I want to recommend an eye- and heart-opening visit to an amazing teacher’s classroom.

You can visit Toshiro Kanamori’s fourth grade class in a primary school in Kanazawa, Japan, northwest of Tokyo, by watching a DVD called "Children-Full-of-Life." For a taste, go to YouTube to watch any of the five filmed segments. Or order the DVD from Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. (Because the price is high—$132—this would make a good school or grade-level purchase.)

This profound documentary was made in 2002, which means the students who are in the DVD are now approaching or have completed their secondary education. I wish we could talk with some of these students today about their experience in fourth grade.

I purchased the DVD and shared it recently with a group of principals whose work I’ve helped facilitate over the past two years. The discussion that followed drew all of us into a rich dialogue about the meaning of our work and the inner wisdom of children.

In this 45-minute DVD, we are privileged to follow the 35 children in this class and their teacher through the entire school year. We see the richness and rigor of the academic life of the classroom built through the teacher’s deep commitment to having his students not shy away from some of life’s most difficult challenges.

In an era where a laser focus on tough standards and global competition seems to be driving the educational agenda, this DVD offers a striking counterpoint for considering a more balanced view.

In the same vein, I commend ASCD for publishing the significantly revealing book: Catching Up or Leading the Way: American Education in the Age of Globalization by Yong Zhao. This book tells quite a different story about what is happening in the world of education that is quite different from the story the media and so many of our national education leaders would have us believe about our need to catch up to the rest of the world.

Here’s to keeping our eyes, minds, and hearts open to what many of us believe about “best practice” for our children.

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CHALLENGING OUR ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT CHILDREN’S GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT

Another provocative, idea-challenging, and idea-changing book I’ve just pored over is NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children (Twelve/Hachette Book Group, 2009).

Written by two award-winning journalists, Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, this exciting book is a collection of individual explorations of research and programs in child development and learning that turn conventional thinking, including some of my own, upside down and inside out.

I purchased the book after seeing that one chapter (“Can Self-Control Be Taught?”) was devoted to Tools of the Mind, the preschool and kindergarten curriculum our school district is now implementing. This chapter reinforced for me that our teachers had made a pioneering and significant decision about early education in our district by adopting this program.

But Bronson and Merryman do not just present dry research statistics. They unpack the program’s goals of teaching children to be more self-regulated through an emphasis on imaginative play, with stories of real children and teachers from their visits to program sites, interviews with parents, and anecdotes about how they’ve tried to apply the ideas with their own children at home.

Parents and teachers alike will find each chapter of this book full of concepts and new research that either reinforce your convictions about children and learning or explode long-held assumptions—or both!

In addition to the chapter about Tools of the Mind, I was especially interested in:

“The Lost Hour”—More strong evidence about the detriments of sleep deprivation for children. More research that confirms more of what I see in children’s school performance today, especially at the secondary level.

“The Inverse Power of Praise”—Paula Denton, the author of The Power of Our Words: Teacher language That Helps Children Learn will love this chapter, as will all teachers and parents seeking to foster their children’s learning with their words.

“Why Kids Lie”—This chapter will surprise you (it did me), with compelling, first-hand research accounts.

“The Sibling Effect”— Think you know why siblings treat each other the way they do? Think again.

These are just half of the chapters in the book.

I won’t be surprised to see this book move to the top of best-seller lists. But beyond its compelling, easy-to-read, journalistic style, this book is also appended with eighty pages of notes and references. The authors have done their homework and they have done some significant homework for their readers for sure!

 

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A BOOK RECOMMENDATION FOR JUST AFTER THE FIRST FEW WEEKS OF SCHOOL

The first month of school is not even over yet, but the honeymoon may be.

Teachers often refer to the first few weeks of school as a “honeymoon” period when children are getting to know their new teacher and classmates and tend to be more or less on their best behavior. It doesn’t take long, however, before children start testing the limits to see if the teacher means what she says, if the rules students have helped to develop together with their teacher will be kept, and to find out what will happen when the rules are broken.

Early every fall every classroom naturally swings into problem-solving mode. Such is the business of learning. At successive grade levels we teach children increasingly useful ways to solve mathematical problems, how to break through writing blocks and spelling problems, how to approach scientific questions, how to deal with problems around getting homework done. And then there are the problems of getting along with each other.

No one expects honeymoons to last; marriage isn’t like that. It takes hard work and cooperation and lots of problem-solving. As teachers get to know their new classes, they encounter new social dynamics and any number of individual students who present perplexing and sometimes difficult  behaviors. Social problem-solving becomes as much a part of the daily curriculum and classroom life as does academic problem-solving.

Late this summer I began reading a book of lesson plans for social problem-solving that is extraordinary and as important an addition to any teacher’s curriculum bookshelf as I can imagine. And, thank goodness, it’s not the kind of book you have to read cover to cover. Once the school year is underway, there’s hardly time for that!

But here are some representative chapters that can throw you just the classroom management lifeline you might be looking for:

—“Student to student conflict resolution”

—“Individual written agreements”

—“Problem-solving conferences”

—“Class meetings”

Oh, the name of the book? Solving Thorny Behavior Problems (NEFC, 2009) by Caltha Crowe, a wise and experienced classroom teacher who writes with extraordinary clarity and conviction. Any one chapter, depending on your current needs, could give you an entire year’s set of social problem-solving strategies to add to your repertoire or upgrade your skills. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Its pages are filled with step-by-step details and rich, real classroom anecdotes that mirror what you are confronting in your classroom today.

You can go to www.responsiveclassroom.org to order a copy. You won’t be disappointed.

 

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LILY TURNS FIVE

Our granddaughter, Lily, missed the kindergarten entrance cut-off date by ten days and has returned to her small and wonderful preschool where she has stepped up from the Morning Glories to the Fireflies, a fitting transition for her,  a bright light of imagination, blinking on and off as she dances from one adventure to another.

Recently she told us she has a new imaginary friend whom she hasn’t met yet. She is the inventor of imaginary home industries extraordinaire, be they beauty parlors, offices, restaurants, or dance studios. She loves to swing and especially to swim. This summer she moved from a timid swimmer to one who excels at underwater handstands. Her vocabulary is growing rapidly, as is the fashion with most five-year-olds. She asks often, “What does _____________ mean?” A recent stunner: “obsession.”

Five-year-olds take in everything. In the car, recently, her mom complimented her for including her ten-year-old brother in a thoughtful way at her birthday festivities. “Thank you … if I do say so myself,” she replied, clearly trying out a phrase she picked up somewhere to see if it fit in this situation. It’s likely the irony escaped her since irony tends to be a seven-year-old acquisition, but with kids like Lily it’s hard to tell.

The evening before her birthday, Lily asked me if she could have a talk with me on the couch. I was busy in the kitchen at the time fixing dinner, but she reminded me from time to time that she needed to have a “big” talk with me. Eventually, she came and took me by the hand and led me into our living room. Needing to have the conversation on the couch seemed to be her way of communicating that this talk was super important. And it was.

At first I wasn’t sure what she was asking. “Papa, what was it before Maine, Boston, Puerto Rico, Africa, China?”

“Do you mean what was it like a long time ago?” I inquired.

“No,” she replied emphatically. “I mean before cars and people and dinosaurs and everything.”

“In the beginning” I said.

“Yes,” she said, “before the stars and the moon and the sun. Was it just dark? Was the dark the bad things?”

“Well, yes, it was dark, and no, it wasn’t bad, just dark.”

“Who was there?” she asked.

“No one except God. We believe God created the universe.”

“She paused. “Where was he before he did that?” she wanted to know.

“Well,” I said, “We believe that God always was and always will be, that God is a spirit who is everywhere.”

“Can you read me a book?” she asked, having filled her curiosity to the brim.

Kindergarten can wait.

 

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"THE DISTRACTIBLE GENERATION"

Heard this term? I observed a striking example of this definition of our young people in action as I sat at the back of a group of nearly 100 fifth graders watching and listening to the President’s “First day of School” address September 8^th (see previous blog entry).

The group was attentive and respectful, but when an adult’s cell phone rang in the audience, most heads sprang to the alert and turned in the direction of the ringer. It was momentary, as the embarrassed adult quickly found the phone and shut it off, but it was clear that this response was quite automatic. “Listening on high alert” has increasingly become a part of our children’s culture of distraction and, for many, high anxiety.

As I had this thought when I watched all the heads turn and then turn back to the President of the United States, I wondered if I was overreacting. But, as if to test my observation, a few moments later the familiar Windows “boot up” music sounded from a computer in another corner of the library where we were. Heads turned in Pavlovian response to these well-known sounds.

Students now respond immediately to technological signals offering “Attraction Distraction.” Whether Twitter, texting, Facebook, or cell phones and other handheld devices, these modern-day marvels teach children multi-tasking and what my daughter honestly admits to: life full of events and tasks lived to 80%  completion.

The “good enough” task completion of a significant percentage of the current school generation, I feel, will make it difficult for many students to remember what their President asked them to do for their country yesterday, when they are so constantly consumed with what their electronics can do for them this very minute.

Yes, there are wonders and marvels in the new technology. But we are losing our ability to reflect. Hence we see a rapid rise in the use of school-based psychological diagnoses referring children for what are called “executive function” difficulties referenced to the frontal lobes of the brain and evidenced by increased inability to sort and organize ideas, environmental stimuli, potential actions, or considered decisions.

Two generations ago, Thomas Merton warned us of the hazards of living in a reality of “constant semi-attention” that “keeps us immersed in a flood of racket and words, a diffuse medium in which our consciousness is half diluted: we are not quite “thinking,” not entirely responding, but we are more or less there. We are not fully present and not entirely absent; not fully withdrawn, yet not completely available.”

Without teaching the practice of reflection and providing more time for reflection in the classroom and at home, I fear that one of this generation’s primary learning legacies could be mindless multi-tasking; a civilized behavior fictitiously foreshadowed, in part, in Lois Lowry’s Newbery Award–winning novel, The Giver, often read and discussed in middle school English classes.

Let’s hope our teachers can keep reflection at the forefront of teaching approaches by protecting times in the day where they ask open-ended questions about subject area content and allow students to share their thinking with each other and the class. This is how the children will construct a future of respectful listening, dialogue, and meaning for their lives.

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THE PRESIDENT’S PEP TALK

Many of you may have watched and listened yesterday noon with your students as President Obama addressed the nation’s schoolchildren from a high school in Virginia. I sat with a group of just under 100 fifth graders in the library of one of our district’s elementary schools in rural western New England.

The room was still as the diverse group of ten- and eleven-year-olds waited for the President to come on stage. They seemed interested in the goings-on in the energetic high school audience and applauded when the President appeared, right along with the high school students.

 

It was a short speech with big ideas, and the fifth graders paid attention. Asked at the end by one of their teachers to share what they thought were the most important thoughts the President was trying to get across to them, hands shot up.

 

“To put down the video games and pick up the books,” was the first response.

 

“Work hard every day.”

 

“Learning is the ticket to success.”

 

“Just because you fail doesn’t mean you’re a loser.”

 

“Stick up for yourself.”

 

“Don’t be afraid to ask questions.”

 

“Don’t give up.”

 

They got it. Now, as the elementary teachers who taught me used to say, “the proof’s in the pudding.”

 

As I watched these fifth graders listen to the President of the United States share about his own struggles as a student and what it was like for him to be raised by a single mom and his feelings of missing having a father as a child, I hoped the many children in the room dealing with the same issues of family life and academic struggles in our under-resourced community were feeling deeply that this historic and famous person was speaking directly to them.

 

I know our teachers in the library felt respected by having their vocation validated by the President. He affirmed values teachers have shared with their students for generations, at the beginning of the school year, and on the tough and wonderful days throughout the school year. As a teacher, I felt both pride and determined responsibility as I listened and watched.

 

Thank you, Mr. President.

 

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FIRST DAYS OF SCHOOL—PRESIDENT OBAMA TO TALK TO OUR STUDENTS

By now you may have heard that President Obama will be addressing our students nationwide on September 8^th at 1 p.m. EST. It should be exciting and inspiring!

Here’s  the letter sent out to principals by his Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan:

Dear Principal:
In a recent interview with student reporter Damon Weaver,  President Obama announced that on September 8—the first day of school for many children across America—he will deliver a national address directly to students on the importance of education.  The President will challenge students to work hard, set educational goals, and take responsibility for their learning. He will also call for a shared responsibility and commitment on the part of students, parents, and educators to ensure that every child in every school receives the best education possible so they can compete in the global economy for good jobs and live rewarding and productive lives as American citizens.

Since taking office, the President has repeatedly focused on education, even as the country faces two wars, the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, and major challenges on issues like energy and health care.  The President believes that education is a critical part of building a new foundation for the American economy. Educated people are more active civically and better informed on issues affecting their lives, their families and their futures.

This is the first time an American president has spoken directly to the nation’s school children about persisting and succeeding in school. We encourage you to use this historic moment to help your students get focused and begin the school year strong. I encourage you, your teachers, and students to join me in watching the President deliver this address on Tuesday, September 8, 2009. It will be broadcast live on the White House website www.whitehouse.gov at 1:00 p.m. eastern standard time.

In advance of this address, we would like to share the following resources: a menu of classroom activities for students in grades preK–6 and for students in grades 7–12. These are ideas developed by and for teachers to help engage students and stimulate discussion on the importance of education in their lives. We are also staging a student video contest on education. Details of the video contest will be available on our website www.ed.gov in the coming weeks.

On behalf of all Americans, I want to thank our educators who do society’s most important work by preparing our children for work and for life. No other task is more critical to our economic future and our social progress. I look forward to working with you in the months and years ahead to continue improving the quality of public education we provide all of our children.

Sincerely, Arne Duncan

It will be interesting to see what the President has to say. We all know he is a brilliant orator and is a wonderful role model for all of our children. Children were quite moved as they watched his inauguration in schools nationwide last January.

The focus in Arne Duncan’s letter to principals, however, made me think of a reference I heard attributed to Michael Gurian, educational author of such books as The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons from Falling Behind in School and Life. Gurian is said to have noted that children today must be thought of as more than just “economic interns.” I thought of this when I read phrases in Secretary Duncan’s preview of the President’s talk such as, “to ensure that every child in every school receives the best education possible so they can compete in the global economy for good jobs…” and “The President believes that education is a critical part of building a new foundation for the American economy.”

From my perspective as a developmental educator, I have always held the strong conviction that children have only one childhood and that during this period of “growing up” they should not be asked to be particularly focused on the future, but on their present life experience.

One of the remarkable gifts of childhood is children’s abilities to focus on and get the most out of the present moment. As educators, we have the responsibility to capitalize on this period of naissance and create the most rigorous, challenging, and exciting educational experience for them each year they are in school. We need to teach them to read and write, compute and problem solve. We need to teach them to help their classmates, school and community and to be personally responsible. We need to maximize the child’s developing cognitive and social skills every year in the context of curriculum that has meaning to the child now.

Gradually their interests and abilities will help unfold a direction for their future employment. Today we are often told that “the jobs we are preparing today’s students for do not largely exist yet.” As teachers, I believe it is our professional and moral responsibility to educate all our students to the best of our abilities regardless of current national economic conditions or national priorities.

The new administration has named one of its new educational initiatives “Race to the Top.” It will be a shame if we turn our educational focus into a competitive race that might inadvertently have the unintended consequence of leaving more children behind. Nearly a hundred years ago, child development pioneer, Dr. Arnold Gesell of Yale, said that “the greatest measure of any civilization is the degree of thoughtful reverence paid to the child.”

I believe President Obama holds that kind of respect for all children. I look forward to his words for students on September 8^th helping us all feel more united in the ways we seek to reach all our children each day we have the opportunity to be with them in school.

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FIRST DAYS OF SCHOOL—LEARNING TO LISTEN

"Listening and observing are two of the most important and underdeveloped teacher tools.”

As I watched the eager and sometimes anxious faces of children entering their new classrooms for the very first time this year, I thought about how quickly the social order—sometimes called the “pecking order”—in every classroom seems to get established. And I thought about the daunting job every teacher faces in helping every child to feel valued, to feel competent, and to ensure that each of their voices is heard with equal respect and attention, both by the teacher and their classmates.

“Lifting every voice” has always been a goal of mine in the classroom and in the adult community of schools. Increasingly my personal experience teaches me that the secret to reaching this goal is to learn to be a better listener.

I tend to have a lot of ideas, and it’s easy to get carried away with them and have a lot to say. It’s taken time and personal discipline to become a better listener, and I’m certainly not always reaching my own goals in this respect—as my colleagues might tell you. But what I’m learning is that you learn a lot more from listening than talking and that the more everyone gets to talk, the more we all learn.

All learning in school occurs in a social context. The teacher has the job of understanding  what and how children are learning in that context so she can adjust her instruction from lesson to lesson to improve student understanding. The best way for her to do this is to spend more time listening to what children have to say and watching what they do. Listening and observing are two of the most important and underdeveloped teacher tools.

To listen well and watch what children are doing, teachers have to spend less time talking to the class. There can be a dramatic difference between the amount of time that children are actually talking to each other about their assignments and problem-solving together in classrooms compared with the amount of time teachers are talking and directing the learning.

When we listen well, we learn not to be rehearsing our own ideas at the same time someone else is talking, but to take in the other person’s ideas and think about them. This often improves our own ideas and influences what we have to say. This, in turn, heightens appreciation for diversity of ideas and opinions, enlivening classrooms and making them more respectful learning communities. The same is equally true in the adult community of school, where listening is a critically important tool for administrators and school authorities. Often, it is the group’s leader and a few very vocal contributors who tend to dominate conversations in staff and school committee meetings.

That’s why it’s so important for us to facilitate more partner and small group conversations in classrooms and board rooms where every person has the opportunity to speak and be heard and, perhaps, most importantly, everyone has the opportunity to listen with attention and appreciation to others’ ideas and perspectives.

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